My dear friend Clyde Yoshida (of SOAP: A Workshop fame) posted 7 things about himself on Facebook and passed the challenge on to me. I’ve sort of been sitting on it for a while, debating whether or not anyone would care to read about me going on about myself. Furthermore, as a compulsive blatherer, there more than likely are not 7 things that would come as a surprise to anyone I know. However, there are eventually, theoretically, going to be visitors to this site whom I haven’t yet met. In anticipation of that day, and because I need fodder for the blog, here goes:
1. I’m 5’4″, which is of no particular import, except that it shocks people when I tell them. I guess because I carry myself like an Amazon. I’ll take it.
2. I am an outgoing introvert, which annoys the shit out of some of my friends and relatives. And me. Because it takes me like 3 weeks to recover from any overly social event, during which time I hermit up in my house, avoiding phone calls from extroverts and wonder how people can stand each other.
3. I did a brief stint as a makeup artist. This one REALLY shocks people because I look like ass all the time. Whatever. I’m secure in my skills, no need to overcompensate. However, I do pull out all the stops for events requiring a 3-week recovery period (see above), which results, without fail, in someone coming up to me commenting on how they barely recognize me, I look so human. But I don’t do hair. My hair always looks sub-par. And I’m okay with that. Don’t be all like, “Your hair looks FINE! And you don’t look like ass all the time…” I’m not fishing here. It is what it is.
4. I’m sort of a hippie: I use essential oils to treat certain ailments. I cloth diapered two babies. I eat chia and coconut fill-in-the-blank. My eldest thinks cold tofu is a delectable treat. There is not a single disposable napkin in my house. I buy organic whenever possible, despite a limited budget. I have a thing for raw linen and “reclaimed” things.
5. But not really: I have strong opinions about a lot of hippie practices (and we’ll just leave it at that). I FREAKING LOVE reality TV. There is bleach, ibuprofen, Sudafed, and Tide in my house at all times. Love me some cured meat – almost any kind of cured meat. I would definitely eat foie gras if it were placed in front of me. And for approximately 3 weeks in an average year, my central air conditioner is the best decision I’ve ever made.
6. I’m hyper-empathetic. Which means I make people uncomfortable by tearing up visibly when listening to a life story. I also get more emotional about friends’ life events than they do. Which I think is probably perceived overall as weird.
7. I’m a meta-perfectionist, or have what I call Fainting Goat Syndrome. This is a version of perfectionism that, rather than resulting in near-perfection as the sum total of effort expended, results instead in complete overwhelm from attempting to meet one’s own standards, and subsequently, a paralysis that presents itself as chronic inability to dust, chronic procrastination, marathon Netflix-watching, and acute, sudden-onset stress napping. Except not right now, because I have two babies. They have all but destroyed my inner perfectionist. So, there’s no napping for me, but yeah, my house is still dusty as hell.
And that is me, reduced to 7 bullet-points. I scrolled through my Facebook friends to see who I wanted to nominate for this… and I honestly can’t choose. I’d like to see 7 things about nearly everyone I know. Nearly.
So, here’s your challenge: post 7 things about yourself to your Facebook feed, in the comments below, or in a private email to me at email@example.com. The anthropologist in me is dying to know – what 7 things would you like to be revealed about yourself? I’m genuinely curious!